Thursday, March 12, 2020

The Garden of the Saints


Visiting a botanical nursery garden,
one is amazed
by the variety of plants and flowers,
and often one is drawn to think
of the imagination of the Creator
who has given the earth a wonderful garden.
A similar feeling of wonder strikes us
when we consider the spectacle of sainthood:
the world appears to us as a "garden",
where the Spirit of God has given life
with admirable imagination
to a multitude of men and women saints,
of every age and social condition,
of every language, people, and culture.
Everyone is different from the other,
each unique in his own personality
and spiritual charism.
All of them, however,
were impressed with the "seal" of Jesus (cf. Rev 7:3)
or the imprint of his love
witnessed through the Cross.
They are all in joy,
in a festival without end,
but, like Jesus, they achieved this goal
passing through difficulties and trials (cf. Rev 7:14),
each of them shouldering his own share of sacrifice
in order to participate in the glory of the Resurrection.
...This spiritual destination,
towards which all the baptized strive,
is reached by following the way of the Gospel "beatitudes"...
It is the same path Jesus indicated
that men and women saints
have strived to follow,
while at the same time being aware of their human limitations.
In their earthly lives, in fact,
they were poor in spirit,
suffering for sins, meek,
hungering and thirsting for justice,
merciful, pure of heart,
peacemakers, persecuted for the sake of justice.

And God let them partake in his very own happiness:
they tasted it already in this world, and in the next,
they enjoy it in its fullness.
They are now consoled, inheritors of the earth,
satisfied, forgive, seeing God whose children they are...
We feel revived[d] within us
our attraction to Heaven,
which impels us to quicken the steps
of our earthly pilgrimage.
We feel enkindled in our hearts
the desire to unite ourselves forever
to the family of saints,
in which already now we have the grace to partake.
As a famous spiritual song says:
"Oh, when the saints go marching in,
Lord, I want to be
in that number!"
May this beautiful aspiration burn within all Christians
and help them to overcome every difficulty, every fear, every tribulation!
Let us place, dear friends, our hand
in Mary's maternal hand,
may the Queen of All Saints,
lead us toward our heavenly homeland,
in the company of the blessed spirits
"from every nation, people and language" (cf. Rev 7:9)

Pope Benedict XVI, 1 November 2008
...

Cover Photo -
The Forerunners of Christ with Saints and Martyrs
Fra Angelico
© National Gallery, London, Great Britain

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Life Update 03.11.2020

Gothic rib-vault ceiling. Photo by Tom Kamenjack.

It's been a while! So, I had no idea that this niche of mine still exists here online. I just spent the last couple of hours reading some of my old blog posts and playing around with a new theme. Maybe I'll revive this sleeping blog. Maybe not. I don't know. It's nostalgic and at the same time like a time capsule, from another me seven years ago.

It's 2020 and a lot has since changed since my last post. I'll go over and fill you in on some of the details in the last "twenteen" decade. Let's see...

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In 2014, I enrolled myself in a 25-week Living Waters program to deal with the struggles I had regarding behavioral addiction problems and false intimacies. The latter half of this year was spent recollecting my broken self. I finished my undergraduate thesis and while waiting for my graduation day, got myself a job in a small architectural firm. I was mostly on the production of contract documents used in construction, with a bit on the schematic and design development for new projects.

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In 2015, I finally graduated from college and got my Bachelor's Degree in Architecture. I left my first design firm and switched on a non-government organization, teaching out-of-school youths marketable and specialized construction skills, while managing projects in the field of heritage conservation --- mostly centuries-old churches built during the Spanish-Colonial period. I spent the next four years here falling further deeply in love with church history, liturgy, and research. I also had a health crisis that will be changing the course of how I view and live my life.

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In 2016, I fell ill around the later half of the year and decided while recovering to spend the rest of the remaining months studying for the upcoming Licensure Examinations. I enrolled myself for review classes, had a great time burying myself for hours and hours studying, made some awesome study buddies and grew my hair to about shoulder-length <laughs>.

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In 2017, I took the Licensure Examinations for Architects (LEA), passed and had myself registered as a full-pledged licensed Architect. It was one of the most surreal time of my life. For my old-time blog visitors, I started this niche to cope with the stress I had in the university as an architecture student. Looking back, I'm not even sure if I wanted to be an architect enough to merit where I am right now. I was truly just going with the flow, to be honest, but I somehow knew it was the right track for me to traverse at the time. Later, I would continue with my job on heritage conservation and would enroll myself for graduate studies to supplement and complement what I had been learning on-field all along. I had a lot of problems with politics in my working culture and environment, but I was getting by. I also started to lose my luscious locks and embraced balding. 

I think it was also around this time where I finally had this sense that I am being called to a life other than the married vocation and the priestly vocation. I was content being single and had regularly attended a weekly group with chastity as its primary goal. The catholic group truly is a gem that had nourished me spiritually and sacramentally through thick and thin. My love for the Mother Church and her heritage --- all her Truth, Goodness, and Beauty --- only grew, as well as my confidence to use my knowledge in architecture and history only for the service of the Church.

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In 2018, while actively working for the NGO and studying for graduate school, the toxic work environment had started to take its toll on me. I reacted by looking for a place elsewhere in the academe and was considered for a part-time position as a lecturer in my old university. As much as I wanted to teach history, I was only given Building Laws and Tropical Architecture, which to my surprise, I had a great time teaching. Tensions in the faculty did not spare me, and while I was doing well and had a sense of satisfaction, juggling three concerns in my head at all times really was too much.

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In 2019, I was at my wit's end. I quit my job in the latter half of the year and stopped going to classes in my graduate school, with no further intention of ever finishing. After a couple of years, chasing one goal after another, and trying to accomplish as much as I can with as little time (I hear people with a ticking time bomb, had this tendency), my passion had grown thin and weary. I figured it was a perfect time to slow down and just enjoy living. I took classes in graphic design and 2D animation while trying to figure things out.

I never stopped loving church history, and liturgy. I never stopped sketching, and making illustrations and reading the Lives of Saints because these creative activities and hobbies have given me life. I have a growing interest in iconography and hagiography (Click here for my DeviantArt Gallery!)

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Fast forward today in 2020, I just started a new job for a small design firm specializing in liturgical and ecclesiastical architecture. For anyone who has been with a start-up company, you know how it is with the birth struggles. Health-wise, I'm doing relatively good (amidst an impending public health crisis aka plague with the COVID-19 and the Novel Corona Virus). The world truly has changed a lot in the last couple of years.

It's funny when I think of myself as a grown man when all I could do right now is crawl back here where it all began. I stopped journaling a few years ago shortly after I stopped blogging. I missed writing and putting my thoughts out here for anyone who cares to dedicate a couple minutes to stop by and read. 

It may look like that I'm holding up pretty good for an average millennial, but with our age marked by uncertainty, all I could really do is to try to live one day at a time, write a piece in the stillness and quiet of my room, and narrate this story to myself. Just to make sense out of my restlessness, even for just a bit.