Sunday, August 19, 2007

Call for a Purpose

Image borrowed here

School's cancelled because of the tropical storm Egay, I've been stuck at home for the fifth day already, and it's not until Tuesday before school's back. During those days that I've spent on reading a new book entitled By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho, as I lie in my bed all day, I've been thinking about things that might come up in the future.

I really don't know how to put this but I think I'm beginning to get tired of my life. No, it's not that I want to embrace Death or something, it's just that everything, in an instant seemed to get mundane.

There's no more spark, no more spice, no more magic moments that distinguishes one day from another. Everything seemed to be all the same as if I had lived the same day over and over for years (despite all the changes I've been dealing recently), waking up every morning in the same way, repeating same words, and dreaming about same dreams.

That's when I realize I'm stuck. I lost the enthusiasm that has been supplying me with fuel to continue. Worse, I also think lost my dreams, my hopes, and my purpose, the reason for my very existence. I'm lost on track and I don't know where my destination is. Sometimes I'm beginning to think if I really have a destination. Then it struck me that I really haven't thought about it much as if I started on a journey without a definite place to go. And now, I think I'm stuck, for everything on my path is covered in a dense mist.

Everything's hazy. Everything's in blurred mode. I'm lost. And I don't know what to do.

God help me. Please.

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