|Image borrowed here|
"Maybe we are not for each other."
Tears began to well up my eyes, faint sobs started to fill the air and mixed emotions of devastation, confusion, and pain slowly poured out of my heart. I cannot believe this very day would really happen. When the girl I've been madly in love with would simply fell out of love on me.
Everything ended and became clear with just one letter. I wanted to see her face right then, to hear her voice saying the same words of truth right before me to snap me out of my illusions and fantasies, to feel her presence and convince myself that it was really her words and emotions that pierced my very heart.
I've been too comfortable to know that we shared something special. I've been stupid to believe that love doesn't need to be discussed because it has its own voice that speaks for itself beneath the silence. I've been too shy to be bold and brave about my affection. I've been taking her for granted all along.
The truth leaves a pang in my heart so painful that now I can testify to that old saying that you'll only get to see the true value of someone when he/she's already gone.
So this is how it feels like to be broken-hearted. So this is how it really feels to have love and lost.
Maybe I've been too presumptuous about my feelings for her. Maybe I've been too much of a fool to believe in such dreams as a sign from God. Maybe God has greatly planned someone else for each both of us.
Right now, I haven't really had the slightest idea of whether to fight for this love or just to simply let it go. It breaks my heart to say goodbye to all the magic moments we've shared with each other and to all the pictures of tomorrow being a witness to each other's hopes, dreams, and journey through life.
I guess it's now time to pull myself back to reality. To see that the spark of our story is gone and to realize that stories of highschool-romance-turned-happily-ever-after only exist in cheesy soap operas and teledramas.
I don't care how much it hurts anymore. The pain might probably wear off as I cry my heart out from time to time. I'm just glad that she only followed what her heart sings out and that she's just being honest and true to me.
"The feeling might have changed but the rest are the same. I'm still the same old Whiskers you know and you can still reach me for your concerns or just stories. I didn't mean to break your heart. This is much better that to keep you waiting. The story of you and me won't just end because of this rather I was looking forward to a new and better chapter. I hope we can still be friends."
I will always love her.
As a friend? As an ex-lover? As an imaginary future partner? It does not matter. She showed me an almost spiritual experience of practical love on the past telephone calls we had talking about our faith and spiritual growth. And those are some memories I will never regret to look back in my days.
Cheers to a new chapter of our story... =^_^=