Sunday, August 24, 2008

Sentiments VS. Moving Forward

It's Sunday once again. And it's raining.

A perfect time to stay tucked and warm in my bed with a hot cup of coffee as my companion while savoring the nostalgia brought by reading all my unearthed letters from high school.

Good old memories of the past may draw a smile on our face and jerk a tear of joy from our eyes, but when things sometimes gets a little out of hand and you feel like your being held back, how can you tell when it's already time to stop?

It’s funny how I always talk about changes. How change is the only permanent phenomenon that will ever exist. How we accept or resist something depending on our situation and culture. How time fly by so fast. How nostalgia... blah, blah, blah.

I think we've already had enough of those kinds of talks. Conversation and writings about changes has been a cliché but just to wrap things up a little bit (you know how we evaluate our journey at some point in our lives), I'd like to ponder about the things I learned about moving on so far.

Keep moving forward one little step at a time is my new motto. Sudden changes and different circumstances may hold us stuck sometimes but that is not an excuse to be stagnant in everything we do to the point of living our yesterday over and over again. Learn to move on, embrace the changing times and remember that you have the choice to accept and resist depending on the given situation.

I've met new and interesting friends here in college and I could never be happy enough. Before, I was too attached with my high school circle I didn't realized that I've been limiting myself all along to the opportunities of meeting great people, acquaintances, or even a lifetime friend. Some relationships lasts but some eventually fades (due to all sorts of factors like time, priorities, commitments, and place) and before you know it, you realize that it doesn't even matter and you don't even care. May sound bitter but people come and go in our lives. What really matters is what you have imparted with them, and in turn what they have imparted with you.

Letting go when you needed to hold on and holding on when you needed to let go is one of life's greatest irony that has always been my problem. I just don't know when to surrender and when to give up for what I've always been fighting for. I get too attached to things and persons I almost lived under the shadow of my past memories and sentiments.

I had a chat with D, one of my closest buds in high school, last week and he was asking me if I was free this coming Monday. He was kind of planning to gather us and go out just like how our circle used to. I said I wasn't sure if I'm able to come because we have an upcoming submission of design. In addition, I also told him that I'm still getting over someone so I'm going 'invisible' for some time. I'm glad that he understood my standing when he did not show any signs of his usual persistent attitude.

Not that I don't want to see my friend's faces again but I'm still on the process of getting over some people. I'm still getting used to my 'new life' I hadn't imagined a few years back. It's time for me to cut the nostalgic drama, the cheesy "remember the time when...", and the "I miss the times when..." because I think it's those moments when I'm being held back. As for now, I can finally bury the hatchet, forget the past, move on, get some things over with, and face the new and brighter tomorrow life may offer.

Some things have surely changed a lot in a very short while. After the many things that has happened --- you know, getting confused about my direction, issues about my faith, and temporarily saying goodbye to some very good friends --- life goes on. My dreams and goals are ahead of me. Enough with the sentimental attitude, look forward and welcome to the dawn of my tomorrow.

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