Book Review: Real Boys' Voices

I’m currently reading a book by Dr. William Pollack, Ph. D., entitled Real Boys’ Voices that I recently bought for only P50 in a super summer sale of a favorite bookstore.

In this book, he explored the profound, painful issues that most teenage boys face on today’s generation. We hear from boys and young men in big cities and small towns in America who share compelling, extraordinarily candid stories about the issues and dilemmas they face everyday ranging from drugs, sex, violence, bullying, sports, girls, parents and so much more.

He discussed about the subconscious Boy Code that society and the media have implanted in the minds of these growing young boys, the mask of masculinity and the gender straightjacket – old rules that favor male stoicism driving them to feel ashamed about expressing weakness and vulnerability in the fear that they will be teased, bullied, humiliated, and beaten up, by other boys if they give voice to their truest feelings.

It’s an eye-opening book, personally. I can’t believe I was not alone all along and that somewhere in the other side of the globe, boys my age are also undergoing the same kind of struggles in their lives.

I may be an upcoming third year college student but you can’t rid of the fact that I’m only 17 and most of the issues discussed in this book perfectly matched what I’ve been through so far. Maybe my personals issues have been resolved but as I devour the pages of that book, I was reminded of all the hurt.

I remember the pain and fear of being called feminine, even though I clearly know inside that I’m not. I remember all the name-calling, being bullied and harassed by other kids when I was only five; the sting of great loneliness and despair when I got no one to talk to about my deepest concerns; the rage and anger that boils up inside me about stereotyping; the pressure to have a girlfriend, to be independent, to take it all in and bottle it all up.

I still remember everything that has caused me great insecurities, the foundation of my low self-esteem, and the root of all my fears. And now I fully understand better why and how I become a victim of society’s expectations.