Life Update 03.11.2020

Gothic rib-vault ceiling. Photo by Tom Kamenjack.

It's been a while! So, I had no idea that this niche of mine still exists here online. I just spent the last couple of hours reading some of my old blog posts and playing around with a new theme. Maybe I'll revive this sleeping blog. Maybe not. I don't know. It's nostalgic and at the same time like a time capsule, from another me seven years ago.

It's 2020 and a lot has since changed since my last post. I'll go over and fill you in on some of the details in the last "twenteen" decade. Let's see...

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In 2014, I enrolled myself in a 25-week Living Waters program to deal with the struggles I had regarding behavioral addiction problems and false intimacies. The latter half of this year was spent recollecting my broken self. I finished my undergraduate thesis and while waiting for my graduation day, got myself a job in a small architectural firm. I was mostly on the production of contract documents used in construction, with a bit on the schematic and design development for new projects.

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In 2015, I finally graduated from college and got my Bachelor's Degree in Architecture. I left my first design firm and switched on a non-government organization, teaching out-of-school youths marketable and specialized construction skills, while managing projects in the field of heritage conservation --- mostly centuries-old churches built during the Spanish-Colonial period. I spent the next four years here falling further deeply in love with church history, liturgy, and research. I also had a health crisis that will be changing the course of how I view and live my life.

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In 2016, I fell ill around the later half of the year and decided while recovering to spend the rest of the remaining months studying for the upcoming Licensure Examinations. I enrolled myself for review classes, had a great time burying myself for hours and hours studying, made some awesome study buddies and grew my hair to about shoulder-length <laughs>.

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In 2017, I took the Licensure Examinations for Architects (LEA), passed and had myself registered as a full-pledged licensed Architect. It was one of the most surreal time of my life. For my old-time blog visitors, I started this niche to cope with the stress I had in the university as an architecture student. Looking back, I'm not even sure if I wanted to be an architect enough to merit where I am right now. I was truly just going with the flow, to be honest, but I somehow knew it was the right track for me to traverse at the time. Later, I would continue with my job on heritage conservation and would enroll myself for graduate studies to supplement and complement what I had been learning on-field all along. I had a lot of problems with politics in my working culture and environment, but I was getting by. I also started to lose my luscious locks and embraced balding. 

I think it was also around this time where I finally had this sense that I am being called to a life other than the married vocation and the priestly vocation. I was content being single and had regularly attended a weekly group with chastity as its primary goal. The catholic group truly is a gem that had nourished me spiritually and sacramentally through thick and thin. My love for the Mother Church and her heritage --- all her Truth, Goodness, and Beauty --- only grew, as well as my confidence to use my knowledge in architecture and history only for the service of the Church.

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In 2018, while actively working for the NGO and studying for graduate school, the toxic work environment had started to take its toll on me. I reacted by looking for a place elsewhere in the academe and was considered for a part-time position as a lecturer in my old university. As much as I wanted to teach history, I was only given Building Laws and Tropical Architecture, which to my surprise, I had a great time teaching. Tensions in the faculty did not spare me, and while I was doing well and had a sense of satisfaction, juggling three concerns in my head at all times really was too much.

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In 2019, I was at my wit's end. I quit my job in the latter half of the year and stopped going to classes in my graduate school, with no further intention of ever finishing. After a couple of years, chasing one goal after another, and trying to accomplish as much as I can with as little time (I hear people with a ticking time bomb, had this tendency), my passion had grown thin and weary. I figured it was a perfect time to slow down and just enjoy living. I took classes in graphic design and 2D animation while trying to figure things out.

I never stopped loving church history, and liturgy. I never stopped sketching, and making illustrations and reading the Lives of Saints because these creative activities and hobbies have given me life. I have a growing interest in iconography and hagiography (Click here for my DeviantArt Gallery!)

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Fast forward today in 2020, I just started a new job for a small design firm specializing in liturgical and ecclesiastical architecture. For anyone who has been with a start-up company, you know how it is with the birth struggles. Health-wise, I'm doing relatively good (amidst an impending public health crisis aka plague with the COVID-19 and the Novel Corona Virus). The world truly has changed a lot in the last couple of years.

It's funny when I think of myself as a grown man when all I could do right now is crawl back here where it all began. I stopped journaling a few years ago shortly after I stopped blogging. I missed writing and putting my thoughts out here for anyone who cares to dedicate a couple minutes to stop by and read. 

It may look like that I'm holding up pretty good for an average millennial, but with our age marked by uncertainty, all I could really do is to try to live one day at a time, write a piece in the stillness and quiet of my room, and narrate this story to myself. Just to make sense out of my restlessness, even for just a bit.