I just realized that it is neither a phase nor a state which I am going through at the present. It is rather a condition and a temptation that I must bear and fight for the rest of my life. I will never be content and at peace until I get every bit of its grip off my system. Everything may sound utterly vague but please bear with my rants which perhaps do not make any sense to anybody at all.
I pray for a new way of seeing things. I pray for that slap in the face that could jerk me off of this liminality.