Stage Fright

Image retrieved from Google

Tulala. Nakita ko na lamang ang sarili ko sa harapan ng tatlong tao. Nakatutok ng mariin ang isang kamera sa mukha ko. Kinukunan ang bawat emosyon, bawat birit, bawat nota na aaliw-iw sa hangin ng bakanteng kwarto. Bakit parang naulit lamang ang kinalalagyan ko? Bakit pagkatapos ng dalawang taon ay mapupunta na naman ako sa sitwasyong ganito?

I auditioned last Valentine's Day in CAFA Idol 2011, an amateur singing search for aspiring vocal-belters held annually during our beloved College Week. Winning that premier title as the next best singing sensation in our college wasn't really on my list for I have joined only with that desire to overcome my fear of singing in front of a larger audience. But yesterday, after an emotional roller coaster of dealing with what-could-haves, I finally and officially told the organizers that I'm stepping down.

I felt relieved but defeated all the while. I joined this competition for the second time but cowered like hell at the last minute. Fear won over me - again! But I guess I really need not to go over that to finally accept that I'm not really fit to be in such singing contests, and that my voice truly is cut out to sing only in church services.