We have a fairly good weather today. The sky is not blue yet there's no sign of any nimbus. We came home yesterday from Batangas, our province, after visiting some of our departed loved ones. Every thing's quite new in comparison to last year. So many things have changed. Everything except the star-filled sky and the long forgotten tombstones of the same old municipal cemetery.
November 1 and 2 have always been special to me. I consider it as one of those "reunion" days where in all of us that bears Pascua in our names(my mom's side of the family tree) get together to pray for the souls of our departed loved ones. It's a rare occasion for me since I only get to see our Pascua family as a whole twice every year, that is, every Undas and Christmas.
But this year proved me wrong. It sure is different from my younger years there in our province. I never get to see Pascua family as a whole because some of my cousins have work(even though its a holiday!). Another one's in Japan and some are busy taking care of the young angels that are new in the family. Unfortunately, two graves were also added in the list of who-to-visit this year. It's just plain sad.
I stared blankly at the candles as they slowly burn their wick of existence. It's all I could do all night. I pictured a whole bunch of fireflies hovering above the tombstones of our grandparents. I quietly sat there looking at the melted candle wax that I call art. And I gazed up to see lost constellations that I never saw here in the city.
Tombstones and graveyards have a different kind of appeal on me. They enclose a great deal of emotion in them. They may be repainted over and over again every year but the amount of anguish they carry will never be lost and will always resurface. They may be forgotten but beneath those stones and walls will always be a voice that will forever shout the same old stories.
I think that's what makes them really beautiful.
This year I'm not crying over the pain of losing a loved one. Instead, I found myself grieving over those who are still alive but are not by my side.