Of Cancers and Second Chances

Pangatlong araw na itong gumigising ako, kumakain, sumasakay sa LRT, nakikinig sa professor, umuuwi sa bahay, nabubuhay, humihinga... sa isang mapagnilay na tindig. Nung Sunday pa bumi-bingo sa’kin si Lordy. Hindi nga ako nakakanta ng maayos dahil bumara na sa ilong ko ang mga pigil na luhang nagbabadyang tumulo hindi pa man din nag-uumpisa ang Misa. Isang oras akong ganun. Dyahe naman ako sa dalawa kong kapatid (kasama ko rin sa choir) na marahil nawiwirduhan sa’kin the whole time kung anong drama ko. The truth is hindi ko rin naman alam. All I remember was the moment I set foot on the steps of our parish; I was weighed down by this unexplainable immense feeling, something so powerful and colossal, that all I wanted to do right then was fall unto my knees and cry.

At yung nga ang ginawa ko (crying part) dahil hinde ko naman talaga kayang pigilan. Punas-punas na lang ng luha sa panyo para hinde masyadong halata at agaw-pansin.

Strike two pa nung nabasa ko nitong Lunes yung blog post ni Supladong Office Boy. Dame kong natutunan after reading his post. I remember pausing for a minute to pray for the child who died of leukemia right there in front of the laptop screen. The same happened after seeing the status of a friend in Facebook that his bestfriend in highschool finally passed away after months of enduring the same illness. Nabanggit nya lang yun sa’kin once. He keeps another sim card nun para lang may makausap yung bestfriend niya na nababagot sa hospital. Malungkot, kasi san ka nakarinig na nung mismong araw na pumasa sya sa nursing board exam eh tinaningan ng mga doctor yung buhay niya dahil nga dun sa sakit :( Sobrang naiyak aku nun pinag-pray ko na lang ulit kay Lordy.

I barely know these people. But the thing I realized is that though I’m not directly acquainted to them, nakakarating pa rin sa’kin yung ripple effect ng mga istorya nila sa buhay. Somehow malapit ang puso ko sa kanilang mga nahihirapan sa ganitong uri ng sakit.

I should know as I have suffered once from such frailty. I was dying when I was baptized for the first time. He gave me another chance when I was baptized the second.